Do the Dude

Maybe you would never do anything that would put you or someone else in danger, but what happens when you're in a situation where you sense something funky, something definitely not right, going on? It's too easy to look back in hindsight and think about what you wish you had done, what you could have done, what you should have done. So, if you are in that situation, how can you make a difference? Let's consider a few different scenarios:

Scenario: You are at a party and you see a friend who has had too much to drink start to go into a bedroom with someone they don't know very well. What do you do?

If it's someone you know, hopefully you will feel comfortable going directly up to that person and asking them if they are okay. Maybe you need to be more direct and tell them that what you see is not okay and you are putting an end to it right there. Depending on the situation, maybe a distraction is your best tool.

“Hey, we're going to another party”
“Come on we're going home since we're getting up early tomorrow”
“You gotta grab this call, it's important”

Anything to get your friend out of a potentially dangerous situation because you know that if they've had too much to drink that they aren't thinking straight.

The attitude that is sometimes expressed from guys that if it's a woman, they would protect her, but if it's another guy they would give them the thumb's up is both paternalistic and juvenile. The issue is the same regardless of gender. This is about keeping people safe, not getting lucky. If getting lucky is a drunken hook-up, then this is the sort of luck that can land someone in jail.

What if they've already gone into the room?
You're not sure if this is consensual or not. Maybe everything is okay, but part of you is feeling uneasy about the whole thing. You still have many options to check it out. Remember that if the mojo's going and everyone involved wants it that way, it will still continue regardless of what you do. But if something's going on that shouldn't be happening, you might be able to make a difference that will last a lifetime. With the alcohol flowing, it might be like a train going down the tracks and you might be able to hit the relay switch that will set the train to a different track. The biggest impact you can have is to let the people in the room know that they are not alone.

The “Dude Routine”
So knock on the door. Ask if everything is okay. Do the “Dude Routine”. Open the door with any excuse starting with “Dude” (it somehow makes it more believable) to check out the situation.

“Dude, I thought this was the bathroom”
“Dude, what are you doing in my bedroom”
“Dude, I'm going to be sick”

If they want to get it on, they will. But if one person wasn't jiving with the vibe, you just gave them the open door to get out.

You can always call the police to anonymously break up the party. The police would much rather check out a situation where nothing was wrong than to file a report the next day after someone's life has been shattered.