You're at a party and you're dancing. You're flirting. You're dancing. You're kissing. You're flirting. It's obvious that the mojo's going.
Or is it?
“Come on now, of course you can tell,” you might say. But, how can you tell? You think it is. You can feel it, right? In the situation above here's several possible motivations for what's going on. Let's take a closer look.....
• She likes to flirt.
• He's under pressure from friends to hook up tonight, but that's not his gig.
• She's not used to drinking and now the alcohol is talking.
• His tests are over, time to party and get some mack action going (but nothing more than that) .
• Her first college party, this is how it's supposed to happen, isn't it?
• He just broke up with the as-of-yesterday-ex and wants to be around others to have a good time, but nothing more.
So maybe the mojo's going or maybe it's you that's going and there is only one way to check it out. Talk about it. Perhaps the mojo for her stops at flirting, for him maybe at kissing, for you the clothes might be coming off. Everyone could have a different expectation and while it's possible that you both have the same idea in mind, it's too easy to make a tragic mistake if you don't check it out.
The Non-Verbal GameSomeone who is scared may: start to perspire, breathe quicker and heavier, shift their eyes around, feel their heart start to pump faster
Someone who is aroused may : start to perspire, breathe quicker and heavier, shift their eyes around, feel their heart start to pump faster
Scenario: You are in the middle of “hooking up” with someone you met at a party. You're both drunk and have started to remove some clothing. It seems like you're both interested in having sex, but you don't know your partner's intentions.
Sometimes, it can be hard to tell the difference. The message received might be different from the message sent. The key here is that while non-verbal communication gives lots of clues, it is ambiguous. The best way to find out what someone really wants is to ask, have a conversation, listen to and respect what they have to say.